Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize