I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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