if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
