who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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