He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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