theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
