How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
