I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
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