google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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