We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
