i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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