u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
