I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
