Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
