How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
