She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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