Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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