I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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