I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
