Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize