Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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