it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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