Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize