Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of

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(850): ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of http://tfl.nu/f0gq

Replies (5) Good night (695) Bad night (2621)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever

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(910): phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever http://tfl.nu/0zmb

Replies (19) Good night (6119) Bad night (726)
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(407): View more from Florida

I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.

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(407): I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin. http://tfl.nu/d7w8

Replies (7) Good night (4096) Bad night (1236)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.

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(902): i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall. http://tfl.nu/6zaz

Replies (7) Good night (1064) Bad night (3603)
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(707): View more from California

And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa

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(707): And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa http://tfl.nu/9onc

Replies (12) Good night (2092) Bad night (1011)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.

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(218): nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip. http://tfl.nu/8hgr

Replies (5) Good night (1781) Bad night (720)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.

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(519): I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes. http://tfl.nu/j2g5

Replies (21) Good night (4454) Bad night (1031)
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(407): View more from Florida

Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.

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(407): Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck. http://tfl.nu/ldxl

Replies (14) Good night (587) Bad night (1926)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?

(913): View more from Kansas

I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.

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(337): Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell? (913): I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space. http://tfl.nu/aqjc

Replies (17) Good night (2528) Bad night (846)
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(904): View more from Florida

Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day

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(904): Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day http://tfl.nu/vw4k

Replies (6) Good night (1431) Bad night (928)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave

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(404): I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave http://tfl.nu/c1xk

Replies (4) Good night (1103) Bad night (742)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?

(701): View more from North Dakota

In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!

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(612): Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend? (701): In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing! http://tfl.nu/fqw2

Replies (11) Good night (2154) Bad night (555)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.

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(321): Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up. http://tfl.nu/21lu

Replies (3) Good night (444) Bad night (667)
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(213): View more from California

idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.

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(213): idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot. http://tfl.nu/1auj

Replies (3) Good night (696) Bad night (362)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."

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(973): Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel." http://tfl.nu/he4q

Replies (2) Good night (803) Bad night (431)

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