so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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