why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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