Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".