she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!