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• (917): View more from New York City

  If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Right after we had the just friends talk..

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.

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• (707): View more from California

  He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (727): View more from Florida

  He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes

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• (315): View more from New York

  Awee what are you going to name your new dog?

  (315): View more from New York

  What dog?

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• (518): View more from New York

  Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?

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• (585): View more from New York

  Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?

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