Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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