they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.