Texts From Last Night

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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in

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  (217): I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in http://tfl.nu/womw
  Replies (37) Good night (1643) Bad night (3052)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.

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  (586): No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises. http://tfl.nu/ovsh
  Replies (11) Good night (4680) Bad night (690)
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  (831): View more from California

  I puked off the balcony.

  (1-831): View more from California

  Not horrible

  (831): View more from California

  Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.

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  (831): I puked off the balcony. (1-831): Not horrible (831): Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza. http://tfl.nu/7wv6
  Replies (11) Good night (2447) Bad night (9092)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.

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  (608): last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome. http://tfl.nu/a48x
  Replies (32) Good night (8995) Bad night (1787)
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  (914): View more from New York

  i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it

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  (914): i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it http://tfl.nu/9xaf
  Replies (36) Good night (7088) Bad night (1294)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.

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  (941): i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone. http://tfl.nu/fsw6
  Replies (18) Good night (1065) Bad night (3703)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."

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  (214): I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused." http://tfl.nu/qcvq
  Replies (12) Good night (11681) Bad night (1167)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears

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  (505): the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears http://tfl.nu/h30c
  Replies (21) Good night (7369) Bad night (954)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".

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  (810): you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here". http://tfl.nu/11k9
  Replies (5) Good night (2507) Bad night (970)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.

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  (214): It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils. http://tfl.nu/mamt
  Replies (5) Good night (1654) Bad night (801)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?

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  (570): I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to? http://tfl.nu/dwjv
  Replies (3) Good night (1112) Bad night (883)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?

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  (785): She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no? http://tfl.nu/2hle
  Replies (4) Good night (2609) Bad night (649)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.

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  (901): He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy. http://tfl.nu/2710
  Replies (6) Good night (1798) Bad night (694)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't answer my phone I'm at work

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities

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  (339): I can't answer my phone I'm at work (781): I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities http://tfl.nu/qhjl
  Replies (5) Good night (1742) Bad night (518)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.

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  (404): Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want. http://tfl.nu/ce96
  Replies (6) Good night (1983) Bad night (405)

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