I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize