K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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