would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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