Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
