The maid of honor just puked.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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