I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
