After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize