he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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