She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
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She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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