His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
