bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
