Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
