where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
