sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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