I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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