Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
this just has baby written all over it
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
