its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He did a backflip because drugs
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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