marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
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So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
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Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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