Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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