Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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