Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
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I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
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Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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