Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
