the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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