How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
