Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
