no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize