last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize