Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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