Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
