nut hugger
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Also, beer. Big fan.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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