He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
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I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
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she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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