Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
